Hmmm I don't know what happened to me today. I am pretty ashamed of myself. I ate so much crap today, and the weird thing is, I knew it and I did not care. The same thing happened - the dish looked fine when I was just staring at it, but once I took a photo of it, I was just ashamed. Now i'm not the type of person who just throws food away... i'll throw away scraps yes (omg, i'm not the type who eats every last crumb!) but the idea of throwing away so much food is so... painful! Taking the photo afterwards did make me feel super unhealthy but I took it like a man and ate the dish because fuck it, as if I would just toss it out right?
For brunch I ate the most shameful thing.
Stop judging me.
Yes, what you are seeing is correct. I ate my tuna pasta bake from two nights ago. Oh dear god, I can feel your judging eyes. Seriously, as if I was going to throw that away! My mum would call me a wasteful girl and then after lecturing me, she would then say "think of the poor kids who don't have anything to eat". So that is why I ate it. Now I did feel very, very shitty once I looked at the photo. I was in disgust with myself. But once I got over it, the stringy cheese made it all better. The only thing I can think of to prevent something like this happening again is to maybe wake up earlier and have REAL breakfast options around. I swear, my house never has anything and unfortunately I need excitement in my food. The very idea of having porridge every day like my boyfriend makes me cringe so badly.
The rest of the day I didn't eat anything. Nothing! Zilch! I guess the pasta bake filled me up good - thank you carbs. What would I do without you? Sarah came round for a bit and thats when I snacked on little bits and pieces... Nothing too dramatic. Just lollies around the house.
I found a massive box of Mentos! So random.
My sister ordered these lollies in bulk... Don't ask why.
This was around 5.30pm ish. After she left I snacked a little bit more before dinner. I think after having some food in me, I realised how hungry I was. I'm not sure why I didn't snack all day but as soon as I had a friend with me, I wanted to eat something. I think it's because when friends are over, they like to touch everything! I would not have noticed the Mentos box if Sarah never pointed it out. Maybe i'm the type of person who only snacks if I see it infront of me... not because I want to but because it's just there. In my face.
I have a Favourites box which I eat everyday but only bit by bit.
And that choc fudge brownie... TO DIE FOR!
Tonight was the first night I actually stayed home for dinner. Parents were pretty happy that I was home for dinner to be honest... they have missed me. So it was all of mum's cooking tonight. The way we eat dinner is that we have all the main dishes in the middle and we just share these dishes. So it's just like in any asian resturaurant I guess. We had steamed fish in fish sauce, califlower with beef stir fry, vegetable soup that consisted of carrots, chicken and brussel sprouts, and spinach. It was a nice to eat mum's cooking again because I always know that she is a health consious person and doesn't put in a lot of excess oil. She always makes her own stock and nags about eating my vegetables. So I know I am definitely eating healthy!
I had two bowls of rice... usually I eat one ha.
Steamed fish with rosemary.
Vegetable soup. I always save it for last :)
Cauliflower with beef strips! Sooo good. Especially with the oyster sauce mum puts on it.
After dinner, I wanted something else to eat for dessert. For some reason, my family doesn't do dessert... it's weird. So whenever I go out to dinner, dessert is a big deal for me! Tonight I wanted to be healthy and eat some strawberries. Ok i'm going to be honest. I would not have even thought of eating strawberries, but because it was in a bowl dead set in the middle of the fridge, I decided to eat some!
Apparently strawberries is good for your sex life says Faram.
Buuuuuuutt then I needed something else to eat so I went to the freezer and got myself this as well....
I just couldn't help myself. Dessert is such a happy part of my life!
Later, later, later on in the night I dropped by my friend Tim's house. I needed to 'quickly' grab something off him... I didn't leave his house till one in the morning! Ha, so when I get there, we chatted, mucked around, etc etc and then I said that I was hungry. Now it's true. If i'm socialising, I just tend to find food an icebreaker. Not that I needed an icebreaker but I felt like food just relaxes me more and that I love to be relaxed with friends! So we raided his pantry that gave me so many options. We went down to the final two and I said "screw it, lets just eat both of them".
These were amazingly amazing. I should have taken it home with me. Dammit.
Mmmm I am a sucker for these.
Now once again, I have come to realised that I never looked at the nutritional values. Heck I know they are bad for me but i'm with friends and I don't want to look like that anal person who cares about every little thing. I think that's the reason to why I never cared about my food... I have always hated people who care about every little thing that they eat. I don't want to be that girl who orders a salad for dinner. Get fucked. That's not me. I love my food and I take pride in the fact that I can eat whatever I want. But then I hear about all this shit like high cholestrol and heart disease and CELLULITE and BAD SKIN! And then I freak out. But then I forget about it. I will get back to this after I go through what else we ate. Oh this wasn't the end of it. It gets way, way worse.
So I say around about 11.45pm, I flick through these cooking magazines to see some good recipe ideas that I could try for next week. I come across this page:
I was like "ohhhh I friggen love an English Breakfast!" and what does Tim do? He gets up excitedly and says "you seriously want one? I want one. I'm going to cook one now." AND HOW DO YOU SAY NO TO FREE FOOD? You don't! And stupid me was all like "are you serious? Ok! Yay! Food!" argh. Pathetic Jocelyn! Absolutely shameful.
Raiding the fridge late at night.
Haha he finds the hash browns!
That looks disgraceful.
I'm sitting on his computer playing with his massive 27" iMac, and actually asks "did you want anything else? Cheese on toast?" and i'm like "fuck are you for real?!" *silence* "yeah ok but make it tomatoes, cheese and toasted!" Alright, I added the tomatoes to make myself feel better.
We should be ashamed.
The funny thing is, I told him about this food blog and that i'm trying to be healthy. He felt super bad and said "I used olive oil." Ahahaha. I guess that did make me feel better. But then he made me share a kiwi with him so we could both say we had some fruit in the end.
My tummy didn't feel so bad after that kiwi. Thank you kiwi. I will eat you more often.
In all honesty, I think even though I went nuts with food tonight, I could tell this blog has really gotten to me. I feel so much more guilty and I am slowly making more additions to my food that I would never have done before... for example, I was self conscious about my cheese on toast so I asked for tomatoes to make myself feel better. Because I knew it would look so bad with just cheese. I ate the kiwi and the strawberries because I knew my blog would look better if I had some fruit in it. Throughout the day, i'm not going to lie, I get lazy having to take photos of everything I eat which made me not bother to even eat that piece of chocolate.
I really do find this blog quite helpful, it's slowly influencing the way I eat. Despite today's poor efforts, at least i'm figuring out my eating habits and can find out what I can change about myself and situation.
Nobody judge me!
Jocelyn
For brunch I ate the most shameful thing.
Stop judging me.Yes, what you are seeing is correct. I ate my tuna pasta bake from two nights ago. Oh dear god, I can feel your judging eyes. Seriously, as if I was going to throw that away! My mum would call me a wasteful girl and then after lecturing me, she would then say "think of the poor kids who don't have anything to eat". So that is why I ate it. Now I did feel very, very shitty once I looked at the photo. I was in disgust with myself. But once I got over it, the stringy cheese made it all better. The only thing I can think of to prevent something like this happening again is to maybe wake up earlier and have REAL breakfast options around. I swear, my house never has anything and unfortunately I need excitement in my food. The very idea of having porridge every day like my boyfriend makes me cringe so badly.
The rest of the day I didn't eat anything. Nothing! Zilch! I guess the pasta bake filled me up good - thank you carbs. What would I do without you? Sarah came round for a bit and thats when I snacked on little bits and pieces... Nothing too dramatic. Just lollies around the house.
I found a massive box of Mentos! So random.
My sister ordered these lollies in bulk... Don't ask why.This was around 5.30pm ish. After she left I snacked a little bit more before dinner. I think after having some food in me, I realised how hungry I was. I'm not sure why I didn't snack all day but as soon as I had a friend with me, I wanted to eat something. I think it's because when friends are over, they like to touch everything! I would not have noticed the Mentos box if Sarah never pointed it out. Maybe i'm the type of person who only snacks if I see it infront of me... not because I want to but because it's just there. In my face.
I have a Favourites box which I eat everyday but only bit by bit.And that choc fudge brownie... TO DIE FOR!
Tonight was the first night I actually stayed home for dinner. Parents were pretty happy that I was home for dinner to be honest... they have missed me. So it was all of mum's cooking tonight. The way we eat dinner is that we have all the main dishes in the middle and we just share these dishes. So it's just like in any asian resturaurant I guess. We had steamed fish in fish sauce, califlower with beef stir fry, vegetable soup that consisted of carrots, chicken and brussel sprouts, and spinach. It was a nice to eat mum's cooking again because I always know that she is a health consious person and doesn't put in a lot of excess oil. She always makes her own stock and nags about eating my vegetables. So I know I am definitely eating healthy!
I had two bowls of rice... usually I eat one ha.
Steamed fish with rosemary.
Vegetable soup. I always save it for last :)
Cauliflower with beef strips! Sooo good. Especially with the oyster sauce mum puts on it.After dinner, I wanted something else to eat for dessert. For some reason, my family doesn't do dessert... it's weird. So whenever I go out to dinner, dessert is a big deal for me! Tonight I wanted to be healthy and eat some strawberries. Ok i'm going to be honest. I would not have even thought of eating strawberries, but because it was in a bowl dead set in the middle of the fridge, I decided to eat some!
Apparently strawberries is good for your sex life says Faram.Buuuuuuutt then I needed something else to eat so I went to the freezer and got myself this as well....
I just couldn't help myself. Dessert is such a happy part of my life!Later, later, later on in the night I dropped by my friend Tim's house. I needed to 'quickly' grab something off him... I didn't leave his house till one in the morning! Ha, so when I get there, we chatted, mucked around, etc etc and then I said that I was hungry. Now it's true. If i'm socialising, I just tend to find food an icebreaker. Not that I needed an icebreaker but I felt like food just relaxes me more and that I love to be relaxed with friends! So we raided his pantry that gave me so many options. We went down to the final two and I said "screw it, lets just eat both of them".
These were amazingly amazing. I should have taken it home with me. Dammit.
Mmmm I am a sucker for these.Now once again, I have come to realised that I never looked at the nutritional values. Heck I know they are bad for me but i'm with friends and I don't want to look like that anal person who cares about every little thing. I think that's the reason to why I never cared about my food... I have always hated people who care about every little thing that they eat. I don't want to be that girl who orders a salad for dinner. Get fucked. That's not me. I love my food and I take pride in the fact that I can eat whatever I want. But then I hear about all this shit like high cholestrol and heart disease and CELLULITE and BAD SKIN! And then I freak out. But then I forget about it. I will get back to this after I go through what else we ate. Oh this wasn't the end of it. It gets way, way worse.
So I say around about 11.45pm, I flick through these cooking magazines to see some good recipe ideas that I could try for next week. I come across this page:
I was like "ohhhh I friggen love an English Breakfast!" and what does Tim do? He gets up excitedly and says "you seriously want one? I want one. I'm going to cook one now." AND HOW DO YOU SAY NO TO FREE FOOD? You don't! And stupid me was all like "are you serious? Ok! Yay! Food!" argh. Pathetic Jocelyn! Absolutely shameful.
Raiding the fridge late at night.
Haha he finds the hash browns!
That looks disgraceful.I'm sitting on his computer playing with his massive 27" iMac, and actually asks "did you want anything else? Cheese on toast?" and i'm like "fuck are you for real?!" *silence* "yeah ok but make it tomatoes, cheese and toasted!" Alright, I added the tomatoes to make myself feel better.
We should be ashamed.The funny thing is, I told him about this food blog and that i'm trying to be healthy. He felt super bad and said "I used olive oil." Ahahaha. I guess that did make me feel better. But then he made me share a kiwi with him so we could both say we had some fruit in the end.
My tummy didn't feel so bad after that kiwi. Thank you kiwi. I will eat you more often.In all honesty, I think even though I went nuts with food tonight, I could tell this blog has really gotten to me. I feel so much more guilty and I am slowly making more additions to my food that I would never have done before... for example, I was self conscious about my cheese on toast so I asked for tomatoes to make myself feel better. Because I knew it would look so bad with just cheese. I ate the kiwi and the strawberries because I knew my blog would look better if I had some fruit in it. Throughout the day, i'm not going to lie, I get lazy having to take photos of everything I eat which made me not bother to even eat that piece of chocolate.
I really do find this blog quite helpful, it's slowly influencing the way I eat. Despite today's poor efforts, at least i'm figuring out my eating habits and can find out what I can change about myself and situation.
Nobody judge me!
Jocelyn
Hi JN,
ReplyDeleteafter you have completed the task of food budget, you will need to make an appointment with a nutritionist or medical doctor to complete some primary research into health risks (if any) caused by diet (you can use yours as an example)
NW