Monday, September 20, 2010

Last couple of days haven't been too good.

Ok so I haven't updated this lately because 1. too busy with work and other crazy uni work and 2. fucked up personal problems that make me want to curl up in a ball.

I haven't been eating much the last past couple of days. It's weird because when you look at other entries, I eat so much during the day. And then now, it's basically two meals a day. I skip breakfast or I don't eat dinner. The last couple of days I have been so physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. Friday night and Saturday morning was my breaking point where I was hysterically crying like never before and did not eat anything. It was a mixture of everything happening all at once. I had personal problems and because of that I was stressed out because I just wanted to do my uni work but I couldn't concentrate. Usually food would make things better, but I was past the point of wanting food. I felt sick and I didn't want anything. I just wanted to get the hell out. Yeah so the past couple of days were hell. I was a crazy woman.

Thursday
I went to uni and had a lot of work to do. I had my lecture and then spent the rest of the day in the library doing work. So I didn't really eat much except for a sandwich and a burger. Even when I did get home, I didn't have any dinner because I ate the burger so late in the afternoon. Sooo not good for my body. But no time to think about my body!



Friday
So Friday was a majorly fucked up day for me. I went to uni with just eating cheese on toast. After having my tuts and whatnot, I went straight home to work more and was in such a mind frame where I just wanted to complete everything. I barely ate anything and when I was slightly hungry it was a bowl of fried rice. That night, hell broke loose and I basically broke down and after that was just plain fucked up. Oh and I didn't eat any dinner.





Saturday
Went to work, broke down again and basically got sent home. Realised that I really needed something to eat, because I needed to calm the fuck down and not hyperventilate, I got my sandwich but the bitch didn't toast it the way I liked it so I ate it with no passion.


Then when I did get home, didn't eat anything the rest of the day because I slept. I realised I needed sleep seeing as the night before I stayed up bawling my eyes out. So I slept and felt slightly better. Everything was a bit clearer. For dinner I just ate some more fried rice because I just didn't want to waste precious time and just wanted to focus on my assignment.



Sunday
I decided to be that annoying sister and blow in a romantic lunch date between my sister and her bf. They were making burritos and I wanted some!! Obviously they were like "gooooo awayyyyyyy, it's our anniversary!!" but I still managed to steal some :) I didn't get a chance to take a photo seeing as I was under pressure to take as much as possible but here is a photo I found.


That night I had to go to work for stocktake which is oh so fun. We had an overload of pizzas... Crust Pizza which is amazing. So so amazing. Once again, i'm at work with a bunch of guys and i'm the only girl basically - I had to fight for my pizza before these ever hungry men got to it. So I didn't get to take photos until afterwards... but they should give you enough details for you to understand how much there was!



Monday
Had a banana for breakfast and then had that presentation. Spent the day sulking. Got home and caught up with some sleep seeing as the night before I stayed up trying to clear my head and talk about feelings and shit. I needed to be a sane person for the presentation. When I woke up, I made myself a ham, cheese and tomato base toast and then straight after that was dinner. And then little bits and peices afterwards... to waste time. Ah there we go, something that i'm usually doing.






In all honesty, the past couple of days have not been good for me. Health wise, I am probably ruining my body! But don't worry, this week I plan to get back into it all over again. Starting with a brunch date with Beau tmr! And we all know how much me and Beau eat together ;)


Nobody judge me!

Jocelyn



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